omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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