you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize