I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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