I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
