You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
