six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He did a backflip because drugs
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
