Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
