I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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