you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
