i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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