? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Do you still have your period?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
