what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
