It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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