I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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