yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
a search helicopter?!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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