Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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