Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
