Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
