Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I have post one night stand depression
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