loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i think im in europe. pls send help
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
