I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
