thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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