obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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