Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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