how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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