Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
