Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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