trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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