I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
