Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize