im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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