Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
