Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize