He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize