why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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