Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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