What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
