Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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