You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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