I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i think i just lost a toe
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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