so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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