I just cut my nipple shaving
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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