I look better un-naked...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
