Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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