last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
