K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
