well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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