Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
