A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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