I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
