Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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