Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
