I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize