"it" just moved
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
