I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
