I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
