No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize