So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
