do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
