so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
