either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
