this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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