those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
