I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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