If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
