just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize