I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
