i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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