just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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