I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
