Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
