Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
