I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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