The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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