this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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