it was like his penis was on wheels.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
