Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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